once i got very drunk in a bar and my mum had to pick me up so i was trying to act normal by keeping the conversation so i asked her if shes a virgin and she looked at me with pain in her eyes and said “i wish i was”
I said I would suck it up. I said I’d do it for your happiness. But what I didn’t tell you was when I said I would suck it up I meant I wouldn’t say anything to you anymore. I would let you do what you wanted without me saying anything. And by that I will not talk to you. Things will never be the same between us. I will not talk to you like I use to. I will only speak to you sometimes, I will only act like its okay. Things will never be okay. We will slowly stop speaking and it’ll come to the point when I tell you “we are no longer friends” it wont hurt quite as much. She might not even care by that point.
I will never forgive you. You know what you have to do to even make me consider forgiving you. Everyone keeps telling me to do it, because we have so much history together. But history is just that, history. I have listened to people before and listened to what they said, and I have regretted it in the end. So I will not listen to them anymore. I will listen to myself, and what I say is to not forgive you. That if this friendship meant half as much as you said it does you would do what you have to do.
Is it worth it you said, that isn’t something that should even be a question. If it was worth it to risk our friendship it should be worth it to fix the fucking thing. But no. If its a question that I’m worth it then you are not worth my damn pain.
the thing you don’t now yet, is our friendship is already over. What you don’t know is this is just a lie. What you don’t know is, you’ve already lost me.